When it comes to being the badass ladies we strive to be (whether that is at home, at work, or in our relationships), there are some road blocks & recurrent patterns I see in women around me that keep resurfacing. In order to be the best versions of ourselves and the best version of our gender in the future, I have a few ideas for us!
-Just Say NO-
This is obviously not a novel concept, especially if you went through the D.A.R.E. program in your adolescence. It was drilled into us to “just say no” to drugs, but what about other things that don’t serve us? The ability to say no tends to be one of the biggest struggles I see women facing. I think the main fear is that we will be considered to be rude, unkind, or appear unwilling to help. The problem with saying yes is often that we are doing everyone a favor except for ourselves! Saying no usually means we can say yes to something even better, amen!? Here are a few ways I have found to soften the blow of saying no when I’m asked to do all the things (like write a blog post in exchange for a t-shirt, spend my time at an event that just doesn’t sound fun, or donate products for fundraisers when I simply can’t spare the inventory):
- I can’t right now, but keep me in mind for next time/when you have a budget/etc.
-skip the explanation all together. I’m working on not over-splaining all the time. It’s ok to just say sorry I can’t help!
-just be gracious no matter what (I really appreciate you thinking of me)
-Ask for What You Want (you just might get it!)-
The last time I had a corporate job (in speech-language pathology at a nursing home), I was one of about 3 people who actually got a raise when our company changed owners. The main reason is because I simply asked for it! Some people just took the salary they were given (and then later complained about it). I also asked if I could stop wearing scrubs to work at that job because I knew I would feel better in my real clothes; all black scrubs were seriously bringing me down no matter how much jewelry I wore. If I hadn’t asked for that, I am pretty confident my boss would not have said “Hey Liz, what can I do to make you happier at work?” and I would have remained in sad in scrubs.
There seems to be a lot of fear that holds people back from asking for what they want, especially for the women I know. What are you truly afraid of that is holding you back from making the ask? If the answer is that you’re afraid of being turned down, well at least if you ask you might have a shot at getting what you want (as opposed to not saying anything and definitely not getting it)!